New bike vs Buyer's remorse

I love my bike. It's a 26er Cannondale SL trail bike. It has been kinder to me than I have to it. However, it's time to update the bike to something faster and lighter. A year I have been procrastinating this purchase. Mainly because I am only 25 and poor.

^ Me on a regular basis 

I'm now on a shop team that wants their riders to promote Trek, the brand that they sell. When I first heard this, I kind of laughed. No way can I afford a new bike. And do I even like Trek? Because popular opinion in my community is that Treks suck it seems. I don't want to be a newbie loser. The more that I looked into different Treks and saw pros like Rachel Atherton and Emily Batty riding them, who was I to say I'm too good for them? Plus they have some pretty awesome bikes. But no. I am still too poor to buy a $3,000 bike. I'm not going to do it. 

Cut to a couple months later and now I'm struggling with do I want the Superfly or the Procaliber? The first is cheaper, but the second is the better choice. And sure I get a discount off the bike, but do I want to spend close to $2,500 vs $1,500? I need to make the smarter choice. I was all about to order the Superfly when a mentor told me that this was a 3-4 year investment. Get the better bike. 

Tomorrow I go pick up my new bike! And I am so excited, but I am also freaking out. I have a credit card bill to add to my monthly bills. My parents loaned me the rest I didn't get approved for with the understanding I would make payments to them every month. What. In. The. Fuck. Did. I. Get. Myself. Into?!?!?!?! 

I got myself into a sweet ass race bike. The bike I have now is good, but this bike can help me go to the next level of riding and racing. And I am ready for the next level. Does it mean that I am going to be getting lazy in my training and workouts? Absolutely not. It's going to motivate me to work harder and smarter. To have more fun chasing my faster riding partners and working hard to catch the racer in front of me. 

Thanks Mr. Cannondale for making me have to work harder for the past year. You have definitely made me stronger and better. You have been wonderful and I won't ever forget you. Because who could forget their first official mountain bike?!